the other side..

Forget about everything I've written in the last entry, for the real story goes like this:

I'll hide people under three names: Fatso, Coyote and Nacho.

Fatso lives up to his name but nonetheless very liberal. He's gay. He's desperate for hot sex.
Coyote, on the other hand, is only half of what Fatso is. He needs further persuasion to give in to temptation.
Nacho is known by name and I really don't know him. Fuck him by the way.

There were three losers walking down the street: I, Coyote and Fatso. One day, the three of us decided to do something crazy upon knowing they don't have classes the next day. The planned to drink alright, but it was yet down right early and booze was yet nowhere to be found. So, they wounded up in Coyote's dorm.

Coyote has a hot dorm mate named Nacho. Nacho is heard by name and arouses the curiosity of many by how Coyote oftenly describes him. When the three of them came in, Nacho decided to leave, rying to provide space for the group. Fatso was so head-over-heels and fatally attracted to Nacho that even his crisp brown skin turned blushing red. And so the three watched movies with explicit contents (porn? uhm not really), and they laughed and laughed like drunkards on high ecstacy. When the clock struck 9, I left.

Whatever happened next I was not aware, come Monday and Coyote brought shocking news.

The clock struck 12 and the three of them were already drinking: Coyote, Fatso and Nacho, a new addition to the group. Under the hypnotic influence of alcohol, people became posessed by evil that they no longer have a hold of themselves. Fatso fluently gave Nacho a desiring stare and asked: "magkano ka ba?"

Nacho was scared as hell alright, swarmed by posessed homosexuals ready to devour him anytime. Fatso named his price, and surprisingly, Coyote did the same thing. After turns and run abouts in the story, Coyote was teary eyed when he narated such disappointing event.

He said he never meant what he did, and people were zombies at that time. Drunk. Desperate. Horny.

There came a point when Nacho was the one who made a deal. Coyote would fuck him with a price. Yes. But he would let Fatso fuck him only if Nacho would first FUCK ME. Hah. Fuck that. Then Fatso looked at Coyote with pleading eyes saying "Please.. kailangan ko lang talaga" and mindless Coyote said yes. They would bring me to the dorm and get screwed for one sinful sizzling hot sex.

Imagine me while my ears indulge this shocking news. My heart was pounding, my body was shaking, my skin was pale and my jaw almost dropped. But the first thing that flashed my mind was not anger, but mere flattery and fear. I never thought someone would desire me, but in the manner I so swearingly fear. For three days I was mystified, still bewildered by the words that came out of Coyote's mouth. No anger, no grudge, just disturbed.

I tried to handle things in a "mature" way, as I always put it, made not a big deal out of it and never made attempts of relaying such story to different mouths. But this is the consequence, the damage.. and I suffer.

I want to hate them. THEM are those pimps who would sell me without my knowing. THEM are those pimps who would bargain my womanhood for sizzling hot sex. Fuck that. Though it never happened, still, I have angst. I tried to understand every angle of accident thereis, but everything seems to be just water. Coyote kept asking me if I'm ok, and now I don't know whether he's really concerned or he just wanted to clear himself of guilt and retaliation of his conscious. Fuck that. I don't know what to think anymore.

And so my dear reader, heed me out. We are susceptible no matter how tough we impose to be. We should be careful of who we trust, for we never know, people are friends who tell sweet words with a forked tongue.

as it materializes

The past few weeks had been harsh on me, say academically and metaphorically.

I hate the idea that I have been called last to recite for Natsci. I mean, that was for three weeks! I have passed through planetary geology to meteorology and my head was nothing but nauseatic. I also have this mechanism that I easily get nervous that no matter how prepared I get, the more coward I become. I also have this phobia that when my heart starts to pound like a gazillion times per second, thoughts run away from my head and I go blank. Geez. I can't be anymore grateful that it's over.

As for the other side of the story -for efforts not to elaborate things, I have concluded that people would do the extremes once they've reached the zenith of desperation. I, as maturely I could perceive, understand this and there is a huge possibility that I might also relinquish to such situation. Even friends will do the unexpected, the least expected they'll ever do and the thing you trusted them not to. Again, I understand this. I just thought that I'm so immune to this -or not. Well, maybe nothing's really impossible.

Despite of everything that has surpassed, I still have my head above it all -trying not to sound too proud or anything. For questions until when will I keep my composure, I'm afraid I still don't know. There are measures, I believe, for handling things and so far these are what I'm trying to get hold of as of now.

the movie starts to run..

I don't like the person I turned out to be recently.

I love movies, who does not? The darkness, sound-surround system, the chill.. everything! Paired with popcorn and beverage. Perfect. But nowadays.. I dunno, I just don't see why everything seems to be turning counter-clockwise.

Come Ratatouille.. it was Wednesday, the day it officially filmed in the cinema. I was with my classmates truly excited to see the film. Mind you, we've waited since summer (oh trailers could be so exagerrated!) and the day has finally come. Bought our tickets and went straight ahead though we've been minutes late. I'm quite disappointed with the story but it was a fun movie to watch. Still, not fully satisfied.

Come Simpsons.. but this time we're (sister and I) quite early and we didn't miss much. The tickets were costly! Gahd, 130php each? I hate how SM cinemas take advantage of their movies. Anyway, I did get a dose of laughter I was expecting to but I really didn't have a good time because I had an asthma attack in the middle of the movie (laughter + popcorn + cold beverage). So you see, I was struggling while trying to be trigger-happy. It may not be the movie's fault or anything, it's just that I fear that I have lost the vibe for movies.

So what's wrong with me? Am I that hard to please? Please god no. I hope not.